Reader Question:

we found this person a couple weeks ago so we immediately hit it off. He is 20 and I am 18.

We arranged we’d remain as friends with benefits because i am leaving in 2 months for some time. For reasons uknown, the guy helps best places to have sex in public keep revisiting the notion of just becoming buddies, claiming he likes myself it can make him put a wall up.

We informed him it could be fine when we simply stopped talking so he’dn’t get any further emotions because he does not want to date, but he helps to keep claiming the guy does not want to prevent speaking.

Why does the guy deliver me combined indicators? How can I determine what the guy really wants?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:


Once you explain your own union as pals with advantages, i suppose you indicate intimate advantages. Also because you’re one leaving community, I have an expression you’re a person who structured the connection because of this.

He, conversely, didn’t have most of a selection. You will be making, regardless if the guy wished more. In fact, I believe your violation outside of the commitment ended up being the actual thing that lured both of you.

Its an approach to test a connection knowing that each one of you might have an escape door within two-month level.

With contemporary relationships getting very fragile yet thus pressured to own intercourse, individuals usually look to dip their particular toe-in in an effort to abstain from an unpleasant separation.

Nevertheless main point here is sex produces feelings. He could be delivering you combined indicators because he loves you! He or she is in reality letting you know the “friends with benefits” charade will be the wall surface he is adding.

My personal guidance: do not wreak havoc on this person’s heart if you don’t wish a genuine relationship. Should you choose, carry it up-and be specific regarding your requirements.

The elephant in family room seems too-big for either people to ignore.

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